People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How external is "for external use only"?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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