im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
