fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
