Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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