tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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