I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
