On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
