So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
