Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
farters have to be the big spoon...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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