just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
