How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
