More tranny stories later!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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