She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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