talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Drunk is not a location!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
