Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
How's work?
Spinning.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
