I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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