The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I could make wine with my vomit
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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