well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
