I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize