i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
