yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
why is half of my head shaved?
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