i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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