My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
