Pants 0. Shit 1.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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