just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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