i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
they're like a gay fantastic four
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
