That's intense
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you can't waste a boner
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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