Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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