you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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