I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
