Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
