Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
