She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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