I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
