Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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