you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
