I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
