ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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