New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
