East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
FUCK WHALES
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