i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?