Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID