Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I skipped work to stalk him.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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