sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
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you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
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If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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