If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
