The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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