she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
