He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
