We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
