Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
