Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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