no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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