He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
