we have pet lesbian snakes
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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