Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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