Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
