The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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