I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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