Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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